Reasons to feel sad

[ffos]

Only had 2 weeks of vacation from work, and right in the middle of them i got sick. 4th day in the hospital today. Hopefully will get out tomorrow, and monday work again

Here in Germany if you get sick during vacation and have a medical certificate that you were sick, you can add up these days.

Please find me a job there

[niconietom]

My girl left me on saturday. I know this shouldn't make me feel this bad since we only spent one month together but it was something completely different to any other relationship I've had ever. To put you in context, I've been single since I ended a 2 years relationship in 2015, and then I've only had casual sex and stuff, but every single time I tried to be in a relationship I failed horribly. I met this girl in person (she was at my school, but graduated 3 years earlier than me, and we followed / talked with each other via instagram casually) the same day France won the World Cup, and I don't know, I wasn't expecting this to happen but we liked each other, and then started dating, we've had the most amazing time together, we got high and watched movies several times, we went for food, we watched memes for hours, we had amazing conversations, we were really compatible and established a really strong connection. I watched her painting for hours, she even introduced me to all her family and gave me a fucking Jurassic Park (favourite movie) cup. But last week she was really strange, when I asked her what was going on and if she was okay she told me that we were going really fast and it was a bit overwhelming for her because in december she'll move to Dublin for 8 months, but the one who speeded things up in the first place was here. On saturday she told me BY FUCKING TEXT MESSAGE she wanted to broke up because she liked me way too much that it would be painful to leave in december. She also said that we could give this relationship another shot in august when she gets back, but that will be in a year and things can change a lot in that time. Of course I understand her and I'm so happy she'll live her dream (she is in her last college year, studying to be an english teacher), but this is also painful AF.

[ceero]

I'm demotivated beyond words the last few days, really.

I finished my university a year ago and since january i'e been working in a big IT company, usual 9-5 desk job. The salary is quite decent, the colleagues are fine, the company is good. There is just one detail. With every day passing by i'm starting to realize that i hate this kind of life. Wake up, go to to the office, work on mindless uncreative taks that are just a bit too complex to be mechanized and a bit too boring to be anyhow personaly fulfilling for longer than a month since starting this job. I could quit, ofcourse i could. I'd find the exactly same kind of job in a slightly different company, a slightly different field and a slightly different type of service and after two months back into the same routine. I feel like i'm trapped in this cycle, seriously. I dont have any specific education (medicine, law) that would qualify me for some specific job, all i have is a useless pol-sci uni degree, 5 years of experience doing this kind of work that im realizing i hate (i worked during my studies as well), english on almost native level (which aint shit because thats more like necessity than advantage in professional life) and some basically useless experience like teaching english to kids in Asia and working as cook in the US. Now tell me how can one utilize that in order to make living and escape a monotonous uncreative office desk job. I'm fucking 26 and i have no idea what to do in my life, what do i event want professionaly, let alone how to achieve it, i just know what i don't want. And i'm kinda fed up with all these advices that go 'follow your dream' and 'do what you like', well no shit sherlock, that really never came to my mind, i just have no fucking idea how i'd even make a basic living out of that, let alone build something. And i have literally zero experience with business, have noone in my family doing business, have absolutely zero business spirit and starting an own business seriously sounds more complicated than building a spaceship from scratch in my garage at this point (more and more im starting to think i will give it a try eventually at some point anyway...)

shit, i need to take a few days off and get indecently high

[M3dia]

Sounds like you need a new goal to work for, like you said something like an own business. If it seems too hard for yourself you maybe wanna visit some type of "startup meetings" or whatever entrepreneur fairs in order to get to know people who are willing to set up the business while you're adding the "tech site" of the business - given your IT experience.

[Hejmeddig61]

Haven't been logged on here for nearly a year.

I've been through so much shit the past year and a half. Anxiety and depression ruining my life to the fullest. Now i'm going to a psychologist with suicide thoughts. My ex left me a month ago, and i'm a complete mess. Haven't been to work for one and a half month. It's looking very very bad atm.

Sorry for the kinda dark post.

[adamross]

Damn mate that is heavy. I feel you, endure, it will be okay. It is okay to feel like a pile of shit. Try to grab something that you enjoy, and makes you at least a little bit happier. Don't hold back, it just makes things worse.

I made some huge mistakes that changed my life forever, and even years after it can be really hard (facing the never ending consequences) to face it that i screwed up. But i did the above, got help from my wife and faith. Also started working as a developer full time, ans 5 years later i am leading a development team of a Swiss Banking project... Which is a dream came true.

Just don't give up. And if no one else, we are here for you too!

[Hejmeddig61]

Thanks Adam. Good to hear you're back on top!

The sad thing is there isnt really something i enjoy anymore, im not even getting excited over football, which were the most important thing of my life. My ex is fucking with my head massively also. I've always been very very afraid to die, but it's like it doesn't matter anymore. I dont care. It's sad, but i'm trying my best for the sake of my little nephew and my grandpa.

Thanks again.

[wsnnwa]

Haven't been logged on here for nearly a year.

I've been through so much shit the past year and a half. Anxiety and depression ruining my life to the fullest. Now i'm going to a psychologist with suicide thoughts. My ex left me a month ago, and i'm a complete mess. Haven't been to work for one and a half month. It's looking very very bad atm.

Sorry for the kinda dark post.

I feel you bro. I was in a very similar place about a year ago, and just recently I hit another bump.

As adamross mentioned, try to grab something that you enjoy. It is difficult but try to focus on yourself, self improvement in areas which you have always wanted to pursue. As an example, I started working out which helped me clear my head and let me break down some of my challenges into smaller ones which could be addressed easier.

Little by little keep pushing through the darkness.

[Hejmeddig61]

Thanks Wsnnwa.

Yeah, im really trying my best, just to get up in the morning is the hardest thing to do. I'm in that state where i lay in my bed all day, i know it's bad for me, but i just dont have the energy to get up.

Thanks tho man!

[ceero]

Thanks Wsnnwa.

Yeah, im really trying my best, just to get up in the morning is the hardest thing to do. I'm in that state where i lay in my bed all day, i know it's bad for me, but i just dont have the energy to get up.

Thanks tho man!

i know this shitty state of being, it truly sucks. But trust me, it can be overcome, it just needs time.
Two quick advices.
1. sport. hit the gym, go swimming, running, whatever you enjoy. Make it your routine and stick onto it religiously. Physical movement can do magic in these situations.
2. pick up a hobby. Collect coins, start building scale models, start producing and really dedicate yourself to it.
May be a cliche, but its cliche for a reason. It works, i give you my word for it. I know these may sound terribly hard when you dont even feel like getting out of the bed, really. Force yourself. Develop a routine, step by step and do it mechanically. And first of all, give it all the time it needs.