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Reasons to feel good

  

Postby Emre » 18 Feb 2019, 18:06

In scale numbers, I completed my weight loss goal now! 75kg this morning at 1m80. In August 2017 I started losing weight, I was 116kg back then. Fat and depressed, even walking up stairs fucked me up. I lost 41kg on willpower, creating a caloric deficit every day for 1.5 years. Barely had any cheat days. I can even see the outlines of my abs again. The last time I saw those was probably 2013. Im kinda proud of myself! :D
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Postby Malgranda » 19 Feb 2019, 16:06

Great job Emre! :D
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Postby Emre » 20 Feb 2019, 18:13

And today another important thing :) I got back my test results and after 24 years of failed attempts at school, studies, short-lasting jobs, depression, bla bla bla, and today it feels like everything came together like a puzzle. As kinda expected, I have ADD (basically chaotic-minded as hell, which often can't be seen on the outside, for ex. someone talks to me, he/she thinks I'm listening, I think I'm listening, but if the person would ask me afterwards to summarize her/his words, I have no idea), 0 ability to get decent sleep because of constant thoughts, extremely low concentration levels which instantly explains why I feel like I have capabilities to do nice things, but never finish anything (*cough* wanted to produce hardstyle for like 8 years now but never got further than 5 minutes a session). Imagine feeling creative and inspired & motivated as hell 24/7 but never getting anything done and actually having 0 ability to turn that around somehow. I will get meds and try to sort out my life now. :) Happy and confused at the same time atm.
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Postby The Convicted » 20 Feb 2019, 22:15

Emre:I have ADD (basically chaotic-minded as hell, which often can't be seen on the outside, for ex. someone talks to me, he/she thinks I'm listening, I think I'm listening, but if the person would ask me afterwards to summarize her/his words, I have no idea)


This often happens to me as well. Many occasions it's hard for me to follow his or her thought flow because there's a word I cannot understand or can't imagine what it's like and just stuck in there. I feel like I'm just basically dumb :rofl:

Big ups for the things you achieved.
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Postby Emre » 20 Feb 2019, 22:28

The Convicted:
Emre:I have ADD (basically chaotic-minded as hell, which often can't be seen on the outside, for ex. someone talks to me, he/she thinks I'm listening, I think I'm listening, but if the person would ask me afterwards to summarize her/his words, I have no idea)


This often happens to me as well. Many occasions it's hard for me to follow his or her thought flow because there's a word I cannot understand or can't imagine what it's like and just stuck in there. I feel like I'm just basically dumb :rofl:

Big ups for the things you achieved.


Thank you :) i know what you mean with the stuck in there thing. I have it like this, I start something -> get distracted by something else -> attention shifts to it -> suddenly it's 3 hours later and I have no idea what I even started doing in the first place. It sucks since I like wiki'ing/reddit to learn random facts, and clicking on things to be redirected to another subject/page -> redirect again -> again -> end up reading completely different things than I was supposed to. :+ And that distracted vibe is every second, hour, day of my life. I hope ritalin-ish medicine will help, luckily it's one of these things where the disorder is quite commonly known and there's lots of possibilities. At least it's better than having some awkward disorder which not even doctors have full knowledge about and being sent from doctor to doctor and nobody knows how to fix you.

Edit: Now you know what I mean. After 3-4 sentences I completely drifted off :rofl:
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Postby The Convicted » 20 Feb 2019, 23:04

No worries, I often experience the same thing about my attention :P
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Postby Emre » 07 Mar 2019, 02:19

Switched from smoking cigs to vaping just 6 days ago and already can smell & taste 10x better again, is this real life? Also, I had some leftover cigs laying around and I took one and it tasted like aids. I didn't know bodies adapt so quick :hat:
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Postby Emre » 07 Mar 2019, 15:10

Day 1 on dextroamphetamines (see ADD story). Let's see what this does. (H)
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Postby Emre » 08 Mar 2019, 15:34

^ This shit already changed my mental state 180 degrees around (positively, of course). What the fuck _O_ I finally feel genuine happiness since years. Now let's hope the semi annoying usual amph effects will slow down a bit with time. Zero appetite, jaw-clenching like mad, talking too much for friends/family to handle. I went from zombie to active as hell in 1 day, must be weird for them :rofl:
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Postby Valadia » 10 Mar 2019, 22:54

I'm happy you're going up buddy <3

-- Finally, after a 5-year hell of not showing up to show, kicking drug habits in between and feeling like utter shit daily when I even managed to come to school, I finally got the email telling me I passed my final exams.
Also, I applied for my bachelor today and sent it to my dad. Man, this feels fucking good.
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Postby Emre » 11 Mar 2019, 16:09

Thanks man, same for you! I'm just slightly worried i'm super sensitive. 5 mg dexa gets me through a full day. (Average therapeutic intake is 20 to 60 mg a day). Only taking 5 mg at 10:00 AM gets me through a full day. Still jaw grinding/'pepped up' at 22:00+. (No less than regular street speed, tbh, kinda intense) :+ well, at least it means I don't have to take high doses.
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Postby DjVero » 11 Mar 2019, 19:30

Got married two weeks ago, my friends and family came to Thailand as well :)

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It was such a beautiful and special day (L)
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Postby Malgranda » 11 Mar 2019, 19:54

Congrats on getting married DJ Vero! :D
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Postby Valadia » 12 Mar 2019, 14:10

Emre:Thanks man, same for you! I'm just slightly worried i'm super sensitive. 5 mg dexa gets me through a full day. (Average therapeutic intake is 20 to 60 mg a day). Only taking 5 mg at 10:00 AM gets me through a full day. Still jaw grinding/'pepped up' at 22:00+. (No less than regular street speed, tbh, kinda intense) :+ well, at least it means I don't have to take high doses.


Could be, you do have a low toleration tho. It will work itself out in a matter of time.

DjVero:Got married two weeks ago, my friends and family came to Thailand as well :)




It was such a beautiful and special day (L)


Congratulations, Vero!
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Postby Gracio » 12 Mar 2019, 14:15

Congratz Vero :)
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